Why everyone needs an Iyer!
Iyer is not just my best friend, he is my reciprocal. When we combine forces, we are one.
We are seemingly opposite – multi-tasker vs. let me focus on one thing, productivity freak vs. take it easy and enjoy life, chat with everyone at the party vs. do I need to attend this social gathering?, brash and upfront vs. thoughtful and considerate, ambitious and restless vs. content and at peace, the list goes on. But what glues us despite this divide? I think it comes down to three reasons:
- Fundamental values: We have our own definitions for these values, but they are core to our existence and a quintessential commonality: Care, be curious and learn, say the hard truth, have a work ethic, love with passion, question and grow, be a good friend, use your voice to shape a better tomorrow, donate and help, fight for the right, and be real.
- Respect and Envy: Unending respect for the other person’s perspective and envy/desire to learn from it. Respect that makes you curious, compels you to listen, and at times, makes you want to be like them.
- Rationality: Our philosophy, opinions on social issues, discussion around life problems and professional debates.. all go through the same journey – opinionate, counter and debate, reason, conclude. Does it get heated at times? Do we end up with different opinions? Hell yes. Very often. But what matters is we have to reason our way through this all. He forces me to think and question, and I do the same. And no matter how heated or awkward it gets, we do not take it personally, in fact, the tension fuels our friends and strengthens it.
I think everybody needs an Iyer – a reciprocal, a friend who cares and yet dares to say the hard truth and keeps you in check. A friend who is there in times of need, but also reminds you to celebrate the small joys of life. A friend who doesn’t know what happened, but gets it. Someone who isn’t around, but is never away. A partner in crime, an idiot who is there in almost all your stories. A human, whose love for you is agnostic to your success or choices.
I think the world will be a better place if everyone found an Iyer. Have you found yours?